I've taken a few steps towards starting my master's degree. The teeny steps I've taken is about as far as I want to go right now, but we'll see what my brain thinks of tomorrow, I could all of a sudden take a giant leap and jump in with all of my excitement without any warning (my husband both loves that little quirk of mine, and hates it).
I've decided on a focus in the Social Work field, I'm talking with an admissions counselor and have gotten admissions information, and that's it. I've got a few weeks to decide if I want to apply for the fall semester, and I don't plan on announcing it when/if I do start a graduate program, but it is something that's been keeping my brain occupied these last two weeks. For the first time since our last miscarriage, I'm excited about something... I'm happy to feel excited again.
Besides that, I've been running Isabelle to her guitar lessons at the music school in Kaiserslautern, and to all sorts of end of school year stuff. Also, I am actively involved with my area's pregnancy loss support group, and after a short hiatus we have started back up with a brand new attitude! We had our first meeting on Friday and are throwing around a lot of ideas to get the group back on track.
And, I spent this past weekend with two of my closest friends at a wellness spa in Bad Dürkheim!
I've been blessed to meet some really great ladies here in Germany who have become life-long friends. Originally, we were a foursome, but as with most military friendships, we lost a piece of our team when Nina moved back Stateside. We are bonded by loss, bonded through our angel babies- I can talk about my son, I can say his name, as easily and freely as I do my daughter's when I'm with them- not only are these women an absolute blast to hang out with, but they are healing my soul in ways that no one else ever could.
The three of us that are left here in Germany decided to have a girls weekend surrounded by vineyards and slathered in massage oil!
While I was at the pregnancy loss support meeting, Christina and Tiffany headed to Bad Dürkheim and I met them early the next morning. On the agenda for the day was a full-body massage, a facial, and a pedicure, then a fancy supper in the hotel's restaurant! The ladies met me in the lobby with a mimosa, and the alcohol intake continued for the entire day! We were given towels and a robe and off we went into a pampered oblivion!
We each had a single room with views of the Japanese Garden, but spent all of our time together bouncing from one sauna room to another. For whatever reason, the hotel was fully booked but the wellness spa wasn't- us three had the entire spa to ourselves! We might have been topless for the majority of the day....but I'll never tell.
I was a blissful puddle after my massage but Tiffany did the coolest thing I've ever seen. She did this floating in a pod thing where the pod is filled with salt water, you close the lid, and because of all the salt water you float in a white bubble where you can't distinguish between air and water. Just watch this video.... it'll show you what I'm trying to describe. It's all in German, but you'll get the idea.
I hope to drag Eric to the Gartenhotel Heusser for a romantic weekend (I'm taking bets on what you think my chances are of that actually happening) and am totally trying this! It seriously was the coolest thing I've ever seen!
After our spa treatments we showered and dressed for dinner in the hotel's restaurant. All my make-up had melted off in the sauna and I was too relaxed to put any effort into putting more on, so there are zero pictures of me, instead, I concentrated my camera on the Japanese Garden.
We stayed up late sitting outside on the balcony drinking even more wine. Us loud, obnoxious Americans pissed off a few people who were trying to sleep and we were asked to be quiet. I was too tipsy to care at the time, but now I feel really terrible about that! Usually, I am very mindful of being that stereotypical American anywhere in Europe, but all of the relaxation and wine had me without a care in the world!
I woke up on Sunday morning very hungover. I honestly I have no clue how much wine I drank, but after 14 hours of continuous drinking my estimates are that it was an insane amount. I was feeling pretty shitty but still wanted to explore Bad Dürkheim with Tiffany and Christina. The hotel's breakfast was the best I've had in Europe, but it didn't take away the nausea and I had to concentrate really hard on not falling asleep or puking my guts out.
I've visited this spa village twice during wine fest, but didn't venture too far outside of the fest. We wanted to see the Saline (pronounced "Saw-lean") which is basically a wall of bundles of brushwood that remove the salt from the local water..... or something....oh you know what, click HERE for a way better description. Breathing in the air around the tower is really good for respiratory problems like asthma, and should be included in your spa day! We spent about an hour walking around the tower.
I feel so lucky to have met these amazing women! Do I wish that my son would have been born breathing with a healthy beating heart? YESSSS. But in that heartache God has placed women who understand this path, we walk together on this path. He has placed beautiful people along the way who heal the bruises on my spirit put there by others who say things like "God needed another angel," or "you just need to get over it already," and because of them it makes this path sorta, kinda worth it....if that makes any sense. I'm barely surviving this path of stillbirth, miscarriage, & infertility- if it weren't for my husband, my daughter, and these ladies, I have no doubts that my heart would be too broken to continue beating.
I am never drinking wine ever again.